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39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0

29 Oct 2008 07:25pm

Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!"

crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	29 Oct 2008 07:26pm
	LMAO i had to read that one twice to get it

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	29 Oct 2008 07:30pm
	lmao funny shit

crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0

29 Oct 2008 07:35pm

one day a woman wanted to get surgery on her vagina to rekindle her youth for her husband so she shaves cleans up and goes in for the surgery when she woke up she sees 3 roses on her bed so she asks "who sent the roses" the nurse replys "the first one is from the doctor... for having such a clean work area so he sent you a rose....then your husband came in with a rose saying how he cant wait to test out that nice, tight, love patch" "what about the third rose" she asked "oh that one came from Ed in burn unit...he wanted to thank you for the new ears"

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	29 Oct 2008 07:38pm
	lol i want new ears now

[-BR] ScareBunny [inactive] Post Count: 1 Respect: 230	29 Oct 2008 07:41pm

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0

29 Oct 2008 07:43pm

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop.Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it." STUPID BLONDES (TOT) JOKE

crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	29 Oct 2008 07:46pm

crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	29 Oct 2008 07:52pm
	[IMG]http://images.mafiacrime.org/blonde.bmp[/IMG]

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0

29 Oct 2008 07:54pm

There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman. "C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks. She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me." The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends. "You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her." "Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy. "Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!" "Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says. He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers. "W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl. "Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me." "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!" He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell. "What do you want for some water?" "You have to have sex with me." Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die. So he follows the lady into her kitchen. "Do me here," she told him. He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea. "Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!" The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window. "Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars." "Then lay back and close your eyes again." This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes. "If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert." "Eyes closed," he says. Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms. "Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy. So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window. One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!"

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0

29 Oct 2008 07:57pm

This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?" "What? You're crazy!" she said. "Look, don't worry," he said. "It will be quick, I promise you." "Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody..." "At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it." "I've already said NO, and NO is final!" "Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too." "NO!!! I've said NO!!!" Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this blowjob." At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, 'Dammit, give him the blowjob or I'll have to blow him but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep.'"

crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	29 Oct 2008 08:01pm
	lmao wow

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	29 Oct 2008 08:02pm
	ive had enough posting unless i get really good ones

SerialKillerBunny [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 9	30 Oct 2008 01:02am

raffle account [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 34	30 Oct 2008 02:17pm

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0

30 Oct 2008 07:40pm

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.' The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that and you didn't put any money in the poor box!' The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

SerialKillerBunny [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 9	30 Oct 2008 08:32pm
	PMSL! That is a good one!

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	30 Oct 2008 08:48pm

BonnieLass [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0	30 Oct 2008 10:06pm
	LMFAO 2PAC!!! ahaha

39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0

30 Oct 2008 11:00pm

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for some food. She got out her purse and took ten dollars out and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of food?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman told her. "Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" she asked. "No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this in a beauty salon instead of food?" she asked. "Are you NUTS !" replied the homeless woman. "Ihaven't had my hair done in 20 years!" "Well," she said, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight." The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The woman says, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."