Forum >> Off-Topic Chat >> Jokes
Rating: 0 [+0 -0]
SerialKillerBunny![[avatar]](http://images.mafiacrime.org/j/charles-manson-gif.gif) [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 9 ![[+]](img/thumb_up.gif "Rate Up") ![[-]](img/thumb_down.gif "Rate Down") | 26 Oct 2008 11:36pm |
| Post any funny jokes in this thread. Rules: - Cannot be racist - Cannot be about anyone in particular |
| SerialKillerBunny [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 9 | 26 Oct 2008 11:41pm |
| Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother "Frank Brown shew me his willy today". Before her mum freaked out Sally added "It reminded me of a peanut". Relaxing a little, with a hidden smile her mother asked "Really small was it?". Sally replied... "No.... Salty!" |
[†] CherryRed![[avatar]](http://i.imgur.com/y13eyr4.gif) [inactive] Post Count: 49 Respect: 15 | 27 Oct 2008 12:19am |
| LOL |
raffle account![[avatar]](http://images.mafiacrime.org/g/baga.bmp) [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 34 | 27 Oct 2008 04:03am |
| There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. |
| SerialKillerBunny [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 9 | 29 Oct 2008 03:56pm |
| PMSL!!! |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 06:17pm |
| clever blonde thick lawyer |
crazyman_420bunnybitch![[avatar]](http://cbullitt.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/mayor_mccheese_i_will_cut_you_bitch.png) [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 06:34pm |
ok so there was this guy who was sunbathing nude outside of his home and he was out there for about an hr. then from out of nowhere a little girl comes by and says "Mr. what is that thing on your lap?" the man replyed saying..."its my pet bird" the little girl responded "ok can i pet it?" then the guy covered his crotch and said "no now get off my front lawn" so she did....30 min later he falls asleep and wakes up in the hospital...he looks around and sees the little girl standing by his bed...the guy asks"why am i here?" the little girl said "well you fell asleep...so i came back and started petting your bird...the damn thing spit in my eye so I broke its neck, smashed the eggs and set its nest on fire"  |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 06:43pm |
| One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was, and he said, "Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, pointing, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "Why the hell did you do that?" "Tarzan check for bees!"  |
| crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 06:49pm |
| so one day in school the teacher asked the class this question..."if 3 crows are sitting on the fence and one is shot how many are left" Little johnny raises his hand and says "none.. they all fly away when the gun is shot" the teacher says "no but i like the way you think" so then johnny says "i gotta question for you...there are 3 woman eating ice cream at a park the first one takes little nibbles, the second one is stuffing the ice cream down her mouth, and the third one is just licking it...now out of these 3 which one is married?" the teacher responds "well idk im going to say the second one" little johnny says "no its the one with the wedding ring.... but i like the way you think" |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 06:53pm |
| lmfao randy teacher |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 06:58pm |
| This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."  |
| crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 06:59pm |
| 3 guys are on a trip to Saudi Arabia...one day they stepped into a tent filled with over 100 beautiful woman they started getting friendly with the woman when suddently the sheet came..."i am the master of all these woman" he said he walks to the men and says "you 3 must pay for your sexual actions...you will be punished corresponding to your profession" |
| crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 07:02pm |
| he walks to the first guy and says "what do you do "he say "im a cop.." " so the sheet days" we will shoot your dick off" he turns to the second guy and says what do u do the sec. guy says im a fire man so we will burn off your penis.... he walks to the third guy and says what do u do the third guy responds "im a lollypop sales man" |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 07:03pm |
| There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?" |
| crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 07:06pm |
| LMAO great one |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 07:07pm |
| thanks |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 07:07pm |
| my quote: WHEN I WAS BORN I HAD 2 CHOICES A BIG DICK OR BAD MEMORY, I CANT REMEMBER WHICH ONE I CHOSE! |
| crazyman_420bunnybitch [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 07:13pm |
| there once was a farmer who had 3 daughters who are all going out on thee first dates at the same time...the farmer being over protective of his daughters waits bu the front door with a shot gun The first guy comes and says "Hi my names Joe....im here for Flow...were going to the show...is she ready to go?" the farmer seeing nothing wrong lets his daughter leave with him the second guy comes and says" Hi my names Eddy...im here for Betty... were going to go get some spaghetti is she ready?" father looks him over and sends them out on there way the third guy comes to the door and says "Hi im chuck..."so then the farmer shot him |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 07:18pm |
| hi im chuck BANG im here to fuck |
| 39 [inactive] Post Count: 0 Respect: 0 | 29 Oct 2008 07:23pm |
| It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea." |
Page: [1] [2] [3]
